


Nothing goes as planned

by catmrib



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Artists, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Drawing, M/M, Nude Modeling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:34:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23750020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catmrib/pseuds/catmrib
Summary: Alec is an ordinary college student, he wakes up, does his assignments, studies, works three days a week, ignores parties (okay, so maybe not that ordinary...)Anyway, Alec is an artist. And one of his assignments is to draw with a nude model. However, beyond his siblings, Alec knows very few people, and he's not about to draw one of his siblings naked. So, he turns to his sister, who sees this as a perfect opportunity to set him up with one of her friends.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 12
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The summary sucks, I know. I'm sorry. Just read it. Please. 
> 
> Also, I am not an artist. I can draw a stick figure at best and even those suck. If I get something wrong, I'm sorry. ALSO, I have very little experience with US college, I don't know if it is the same as everywhere else or if it's different, I don't know if this would even be possible or legal, I don't care. If it's inaccurate, I'm sorry, but I hope you enjoy it all the same!

Alec could barely remember the last weekend he'd had without a pile of homework and projects that needed to be finished. He woke up on Saturday morning, already thinking about what homework he would do first before he realized he had none. For the first time in… months, he was actually caught up on everything.

Alec smiled to himself as he sat up in bed, thinking he could finally take some time to do a proper workout, to paint whatever he wanted without a due date, without a hurry. He could even go to the archery range and try out his bow again. And best of all… he was probably home alone. There had been a huge party on campus yesterday and knowing his siblings, they wouldn't make it back before midday, which meant he had the whole house to himself.

Getting out of bed,Alec was already planning the day in his head. He'd start with a long shower, without his siblings banging on the door every three minutes telling him they needed to come in for all kinds of reasons. Then, he'd take his bow and jog to the archery range, which was about a mile away from campus. He'd spend maybe an hour or two doing that, and then he'd jog back home. His siblings would probably be back by then and Alec would go to his room and paint for fun, for once. Maybe he'd make something for Izzy's upcoming birthday, or something to fill that empty space on his wall. 

He was so deep in his mind, that he didn't hear the shower running as he stepped out of his room and walked towards the bathroom, and not even as he placed his hand on the doorknob and pulled it open. He stepped into the bathroom, only registering that there was someone there after a second, when he saw someone step out of the shower. 

Not Izzy. Not Jace. _Someone._ A very naked someone. Alec stared, for a second he thought he was imagining it. This stranger was… like something straight out of a dream. One of those dreams that kept concerning him, that he kept pushing down and ignoring, unwilling to accept what they were trying to tell him. The man was beautiful and Alec found himself watching the water run down this man's chest. 

“Take a picture, lasts longer,” the stranger suggested, and Alec realized that this was real.

“Fuck.” Alec's face turned bright red and he turned away immediately, closing the door behind him. If this guy was here… "Izzy!" He called. He heard a sound from the kitchen and followed it, finding his sister sipping on a coffee cup.

"Shh, Alec," she whispered. "You're too loud."

"Why the hell is there a guy in our bathroom?" Alec asked, trying and failing to keep his voice down. 

"Magnus? He's taking a shower."

"In our bathroom. Why is he here?"

“He brought me home and then spend the night here. Nothing new. And come on, he’s not the first guest who’s taken a shower here, so calm down. Take a coffee and relax. We’re only staying for a bit, I promised Magnus I'd help him clean up his closet today."

"Where's Jace?" Alec asked, wondering if he'd come back with them. Izzy shrugged.

"Dunno. Probably at some girls place. I told him Magnus and I were coming here so he probably decided to go somewhere else." 

Of course he had. He'd decided to leave Alec alone with Izzy and her new boyfriend. Great. "Just… hurry up and leave, please," he said, before turning to walk back to his room. What a horrible start to what could have been a great day. Not only had he walked in on an attractive, naked guy, he'd walked in on an attractive naked guy who was also his sister's boyfriend. 

Magnus walked past him in the hallway, now with pants on but the shirt still in his hands. Alec forced his eyes down at the ground and walked pas quickly, locking himself in the bathroom once he got there. Hadn't Magnus heard of keys? Of locking doors? There was a reason humankind had invented keys and locks and Alec was sure that this was the reason. So people didn’t have to see each other naked! Unless they both wanted to.

Alec leaned against the door and stared at the tub. Did he still want to start his day the way he’d planned it this morning? After a few moments he decided that he wouldn’t let that incident change how much he was going to enjoy that day. So he grabbed a towel and placed it next to the tub before he undressed and stepped into the shower. He’d decided to shower and maybe take a bath the next day in the evening. 

Alec took a shower, quicker than he'd liked because he couldn't get the image of the man out of his head… He got dressed, grabbed his bow and a water bottle, and set out on his jog.

As long as he stayed in motion, he could keep his mind busy, so the jog was a welcome distraction. And archery even more so, once he arrived at the range. It was still early so there weren't many people there, and Alec was more than happy about that. Some peace and quiet while he shot his arrows was all he needed to wind down. 

Alec spent a few hours there, like planned, before jogging back home. It was almost lunch time when he got home and Alec based on the shoes he could see, he knew Jace was already there, probably in bed dealing with his hangover. Izzy and Magnus were nowhere to be seen, which Alec was happy about. He took of his shoes,too and then went into his room to work on a painting. Alec set up everything and then grabbed a pencil to sketch what he was going to paint. This was what he loved most about this, he could sketch and paint without thinking too much about it. 

Well usually he loved this, this time it turned out to be a bad thing. Alec groaned angrily as he looked at sketch and realised what it was. It was obvious that he had not forgotten that sight from this morning, as his sketch showed a naked Magnus in the shower. 

The sketch itself was rather good and if it had been anyone else, ALec had been rather pleased with it but why did it have to be Magnus?! Why did this happen on his free day? Alec wanted to throw the sketch away but it was too good for that and so he decided to keep it, but hidden. He couldn’t let anyone find this, what would Jace say! Or Izzy! No, no this couldn’t happen. 

Alec didn’t know much time had passed but just as he had closed his cupboard Jace opened the door and grinned at him. “Hey, brother. How you doing? Heard you met Magnus this morning. He seemed to have had a rather big impression on you, based on what Izzy told me” 

"He did not," Alec said. "I mean, forgive me for being surprised when the first thing I see in the morning is a naked man in our shower.”

"Why were you surprised? It's hardly the first time Izzy brings over friends." Alec rolled his eyes. _Friends._ That's what they were calling it? 

"Whatever, Jace. Do you need something? I was just painting," he said.

"What, I can't just stop by to say hi?" 

"Well, you can. You just never do it." 

“Hm, maybe I’m in a good mood and I wanted to check if Izzy told the truth and I have to say… I do believe her, you seem angrier than usual so he must have been a sigh” 

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jace. Just leave me alone. Aren't you supposed to be hungover? Why are you so happy, anyway?"

"What, I'm not allowed to be happy? I just had a good night. And even better morning." Jace grinned. "And I didnt drink like Izzy, I actually kept my senses yesterday."

Alec raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Who convinced you to do that? God?" 

Jace rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. It's not like I don't know how to moderate myself. It's just that I chose not to most of the time."

“And why that change of mind? The girl you spend the night with?” suggested Alec, hoping to divert this weird conversation into another direction. 

"Maybe," Jace said. "Maybe not. We'll see how it goes. But I didn't come here to talk about me."

"Well, there are no girls, or parties in my life so I've got nothing to talk about," Alec said. 

“Well, keep telling yourself that, I hope you like that. I’ll get into my room since you are absolutely no fun to be around at the moment”

"Maybe because I didn't want to be interrupted and have been asking you to leave since the beginning. Close the door when you leave," Alec said, turning back to his desk. He heard the door close behind him. He opened the drawer, looking at the sketch. It was beautiful… Magnus was beautiful. And also in a relationship with his sister. Alec turned the paper over, just a blank page. He picked up another piece of paper. Maybe a flower would be nicer, maybe he should focus on drawing flowers today. He just needed to get his mind off Magnus.

* * *

Alec usually didn't understand everyone's passive hate of Monday. Monday was just an ordinary day, just like all other days. But right now, sitting at his desk in his room and looking at the pile of work that had to get done by Friday, he understood. 

Alec sighed as he started looking through them. An essay. A presentation. Two sketches, a painting, and… Alec frowned as he looked through the assignment. How was he supposed to do that? How would he ever get someone? He could ask Jace, but… no. No, he couldn't. He'd die of embarrassment and Jace would never let it go. Alec flopped back on his bed. He had a week to find someone willing to pose, while naked, for him to draw. He could already feel that he would fail this assignment. For a moment he thought he could just use his picture of Magnus but oh god, if anyone would see that, they would know that Alec couldn’t get him out of his mind. 

Magnus had been over rather a few times in the past two weeks since he had seen him for the first time. Alec tried to avoid him whenever he was over but it seemed like Izzy decided to bring Magnus over even more often, the harder Alec tried not to see him. 

Luckily, he wasn't there that evening when Alec went down to get a coffee. He needed it, if he wanted to get anything done tonight. 

"Hey Alec. How you doing?" Izzy asked as he stepped into the kitchen. Alec shrugged.

"Terrible. I just got the worst assignment. And apparently, this is a huge part of our final grade. I'm going to fail this, Izzy. I'm going to completely blow my whole grade because of this one stupid assignment."

Izzy frowned, pushed herself up on the kitchen counter. "Oh, come on, Alec. You're a great artist. There's nothing in the world that you can't do. What's the assignment?" 

"I have to find a guy willing to pose for me. Naked." 

"That's what you're worried about? Really? Alec, I know so many guys, why didn't you just come to me? I could literally give you a list of like, ten guys, right off the bat."

“Well I don’t really want to have some naked guy pose who you’ve seen naked as well” 

"Oh, come on, Alec. I don't mean guys like that. You know I actually do have friends, right? People that I don't sleep with." 

"Do you have friends willing to pose naked for your brothers school project?"

"Yeah, I do!"

"Someone who's not your boyfriend and who you've neve slept with?"

"Of course."

"Okay. Fine. I'll give him a chance, then. I guess."

Izzy grinned. "Great. I'll text him, plan a meeting for the two of you. You won't be disappointed, I promise." She grabbed her phone, and Alec turned away from her to make his coffee. He sat down at the table a minute later, just as Izzy jumped down from the counter.

"Okay, I've organized a meeting for the two of you, tomorrow at four o'clock at his place. I'll send you the address," she said, before heading off without giving Alec the chance to ask any questions. A minute later, Alecs phone beeped with a new text.

* * *

Alec had no idea who he was going to meet and he had asked Izzy all day. At 3 o’clock he packed a few things and then went on his way to that friend of Izzy. Alec didn’t know what to expect but he was prepared for almost everything. He had a sketch block with himself and different types of pencils. 

Alec really started to wish he knew who this person was, or at least his name, as he knocked on the door to their apartment. What if Izzy was pranking him? What if it turned out to be someone he knew? Alec knocked on the door, feeling nervous. It could be Meliorn, it could be the annoying Simon guy, it could be… Magnus. 

Alec blinked. Magnus was still there. Magnus was there. Alec took a step back. "Oh. Um. There… must be some kind of mistake. I'm sorry to bother you, I…"

"You're not bothering me, Alexander. Isabelle told me you were coming. Although, she failed to let me know you didn't know who you were coming to meet. Please, come inside." 

Alec stared at Magnus, unbelieving. This was some kind of dream. Some kind of messed up dream that he couldn't wake up from. 

"I…" he started, but cut himself off. He didn't know what to say. He stepped inside. "There must be some kind of mistake, though. Izzy said I was meeting a friend of hers, not…"

"Not what?" Magnus raised an eyebrow. "What exactly do you think Izzy and I are, Alexander?" 

"I.. I mean, you were naked. In our shower”. 

"Yes, i was. I wasn't aware you took your showers fully clothed."

"I… nevermind.” he stammered. “So… Izzy told you that I need you to… well pose naked so I can sketch you?” Alec asked, he knew his head was deep red but he tried not to let it control him completely. HIs mind was racing. Was Magnus really just a friend of Izzy? 

"She did. So, we could do it right now or we could do it later. Do you have the stuff you need here?" Magnus asked. 

"I… I…" Alec stammered. "You want to… to do it now? You want to get naked? Right now?" 

"If you want. I wouldn't mind planning another time, either, if you prefer. It's entirely up to you, Alexander."

“Well I… I do have my things with me so if you… but maybe we should think of how you will pose once you are naked… just so you don’t have to move around too much... yeah?”

Magnus grinned. "You're the boss, Alexander. So, how do you want me?" He asked. 

“How about… in front of the sofa? You lean back and have one leg up while the other lais on the floor… do you know what I mean?”

"Oh, I know, yeah." Magnus smiled. "So, why don't you get your things ready while I get undressed?" He suggested. Alec nodded, turning to the bag he'd brought to look through his pencils and get a piece of paper. He'd lost his hope of getting his face to a normal colour, he just needed to get this over with quickly. 

He looked for a chair to sit in and tried not to look at Magnus as he got naked. Once ALec had his chair he sat down and waited for Magnus to get in position. He didn’t want to think like that but the sight was incredible and for a moment Alec just looked at Magnus. “O..Okay, so...so are you more or less comfortable?”

"I most definitely am, darling. So, what do you think of the view? Good enough for your assignment?" 

Alec flushed deeply red. "I… um. I don't think… I mean, definitely. It's definitely… yeah. Um. Yeah." 

Magnus grinned. "Don't worry darling. I get you." He winked, and Alec felt like he would explode. If this wasn't Izzy's boyfriend… how did she resist?

"Um. Okay, so… a quick sketch should only take about ten, fifteen minutes, and then I can probably fix on the details on my own, so…" he just needed to finish this up. Before he died of embarrassment. 

“Oh I can sit like this for hours and maybe come closer so you can get your details better” Magnus winked. Alec didn’t know what to think about that but somehow he liked it.

"I wouldn't want to bother you for too long…" Alec said with a shake of his head, eyes fixed on the paper as he tried to start. The worst part was, he'd have to look at Magnus. He'd have to stare at… at every part of him, if he wanted to get this right. Alecs hand was shaking. He took a deep breath. He couldn't draw like this. He needed to focus. It took way too long but eventually he managed to start. 

It took way longer than he had planned but Alec let his eyes linger on Magnus’s chest for far too long. Luckily Magnus didn’t know how quick Alec could be, so he probably thought that this was normal.

The first part was okay. The general shape took a few tries to get right, because Alecs hand wouldn't stop trembling as his eyes went under Magnuss waist, but then he pulled himself together and went through with it. He drew his face, lingering on his eyes for a long time. He wanted to capture that glint in them, he wanted to get them right. 

Magnuss chest was hard to do, mostly because Alec had a hard time staying focused. But he got through it all, and he got to… Alec looked at the clock. It had been half an hour. "Wow… time sure does fly by. Um. Do you want to take a break? Move a little?" He suggested. He needed to prepare himself, to get ready for this. He'd have to look and he'd have to keep his hand steady. He needed to focus.

“Do you need a break my dear?” asked Magnus instead. 

"Me? I… I'm not the one who's…" Alec gestured. "Are you… sure you don't need a break? It's not exactly a comfortable position," he said.”And...and you’re not wearing anything, so if you get cold or anything”

"Well, if you're that worried about me, I'll take a break. But next time, just say you need one. You have nothing to be ashamed of, right?" Magnus winked as he sat up from the position, not making any move to put his clothes back on. "Just let me know when you're ready to start again."

Alec put the pencil down and stood up, turned his back to Magnus. He just needed to stay focused for a few more minutes, just to finish off the drawing and then he could go home and never see Magnus again.”I am fine, I am seriously worried about you, sitting on the cold floor naked. I don’t want you to get sick” he tried to explain. It wasn’t a total lie, but it wasn’t the main reason.

"Okay, okay. I guess I'll take a few minutes to get all warm again, then. Why don't you grab yourself something from the fridge? Beer, soda, wine, water, whatever you want, darling." Alec turned to look at Magnus, now sitting on the couch but still very much naked. 

“Y..Yeah, I’ll go.. Do you want something?” he asked as moved into what he thought might be the right direction.

"I'll have a glass of whatever you're having," Magnus said. "And the kitchen is that way," he added, pointing in the right direction. "Just through that door."

“Oh,” Alec mumbled and then turned to walk in the right direction. He knew his cheeks were flaming red but he still tried his best to stay calm. He knew he would never pass as cool but maybe calm would do. He opened the fridge and took out two cans of coke which he brought out to Magnus. 

“It’s a pretty nice place, do you live alone?”

"Of course not. I have two cats, they just don't like to be here at decent hours," Magnus said. "But if you don't count the cats, then yes. I live alone."

“That’s... nice,” Alec mumbled as he sipped his coke. “Well… let’s finish this piece, yeah? I’ll do the final, final touches later at home but if you want I’ll send you a picture of the end piece.”

"I would love that. And I'll just let you know right now, if you ever need a model again, I'll be more than willing to do it. This is fun, don't you think?"

"Uh… yeah... yeah. I'm… really thankful that you're willing to help me out. The only other option was Jace and… I don't really want to draw a naked picture of my brother." 

“I can definetly understand you not wanting to see your brother naked." Magnus looked Alec over once, then grinned. "I hope you enjoyed seeing me naked, though."

Alec blushed. "I… I mean, you have an excellent body for drawing. Not that I'm… you know… but, just… you just… you get it."

“You are rather adorable, you know. I find you very sweet and just so you know… I like that you are so impressed by me.”

"I'm not! I'm just… there are many people who are good for drawing. And you're just one of them. It's nothing special." Alec knew that every word he said was just making this worse and worse, he'd gone from complimenting Magnus to telling him there was nothing special about him and he'd already made everything terrible. "Let's just… finish the drawing."

“Alright,” Magnus said, seeming untouched by Alec's little rant. It even seemed to have make Magnus grin. 

"Okay, so… you just get back in position and I'll… I'll finish it quickly," Alec said, picking up his pencil and taking a deep breath. He looked up at Magnus as he got into the right position, and before he even had time to get nervous, he put the pencil on the paper and started drawing. The break had helped him clear his mind, and Alec managed to focus for the next twenty minutes, and he managed to get a good draft. 

“Alright, all done.” 

"So, can I look at it, or do I have to wait for the final draft for that?"

“The final draft. I don’t like to have people look at unfinished projects.”

"Well, that's a pity. I'm glad you gave me a chance, and please let me know how the assignment goes. I'm sure you'll do great. I mean, who wouldn't with a model like me, right?" Magnus winked, and Alec couldn't ignore the fact that he was still naked.

"Yeah… yeah, sure. I will. Um. Thanks for being willing to do this. Really, I don't know what I would have done without you."

“I’m sure you would have found another one to do this, but they would not have been as hot as I am and they probably wouldn’t have made you blush like that, or tried to flirt with you.”

“You...This was flirting?"

"Yes? And not exactly subtle, either." Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Did you seriously not get that?"

“N..No… but I didn’t expect it so...Maybe that’s why.”

"Or maybe you're just unbelievably innocent and actually didn't catch up on it." Magnus grinned. "You are so adorable, Alexander. Honestly, I'd kiss you right now, if I didn't think it'd make you run."

“I think I actually might run if you kissed me right now, you... you are not really wearing anything, so…”

"Only because I love that you blush every time your eyes wander down south," Magnus said, chuckling. 

"Well, can you blame me? You're a guy, and… I'm not supposed to look at this." Not supposed to look and think like this, he added in his mind.

"Why not? I don't see what's wrong with it. If anything, it's better that I'm not a girl, right? You're not seeing anything you haven't seen before."

“I... I guess, but still. I'm not supposed to look at another man like this,” Alec repeated. 

"Can you explain to me why, exactly?"

“It...It’s not right. I'm supposed to look at woman like this.”

"Why? If you don't find women attractive, you shouldn't have to pretend. It's okay, Alexander. There's nothing wrong about it."

“That’s not what I learned. I mean I know people are getting more and more okay with this but… I can’t. I… I'm supposed to find a woman, get married, have kids….I… I can’t.”

"There's nothing stopping you from getting married and having kids with a guy," Magnus said. "I mean, we're not living in the past century. Guys get married to guys all the time. Same sex couples adopt children who would have nowhere else to go. You can still do everything you planned, and actually be happy while you do it."

“No… I can’t tell my family… What will they think? I mean Izzy knows and I guess that’s why she sent me here today, but none of the others know…. I can’t tell them.”

“Alexander, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I hope you will listen to what you want and don’t pressure yourself and pretend to be something you are not. You will only be unhappy and you don’t deserve that. I would like to show you how things could be. I like you, you are sweet and clever and very talented. I’d love to get to know you better but I will respect if you don’t feel the same. But please try to accept yourself. Being gay does not mean you are wrong.”

"Listen, Magnus. I'm really thankful that you did this, but… I really have to go now," Alec said, at a loss for other words. He started packing his supplies into his bag, keeping his eyes fixed on that and far away from Magnus. "I'll send you the picture when I'm done. Until then… please leave me alone." 

"Alexander, come on… You've got nothing to be afraid of. You know that, right? If anyone doesn't accept you as you are, that's their own fault. And they'll be missing out on an awesome person." 

Alec slung the bag over his back. "Stop, Magnus. Goodbye," he said, turning to leave before he could change his mind. He did like to hear that but he was also afraid of it. His parents would never accept that and now that Magnus was in his life Alec was scared. He couldn't stop thinking about him and it was driving him mad. 

* * *

It had been a week since Alec had been at Magnus’ to draw him. In that time he had finished the assignment and tried very hard not to think about those moments with Magnus. Nothing had happened and yet it felt horrible. He wanted to be back, wanted to talk to Magnus. In his dreams he did a lot more than just talk. 

And it didn’t help that he sat down in front of the drawing every evening, working on it for hours a day. No matter how many details he added, how much time he spent on it, it never looked perfect. It could never really reflect all of Magnus’s beauty. And Alec refused to let it go before it did. Because he wanted a good grade, because he needed this project to go well. Because it gave him an excuse to look, to think back, to remember. 

“Hey, you seem miserable… well even more than usual, do you want to talk about what happened with Magnus? He’s not talking to me about it. Says it’s your place to tell," Izzy said as she came in the room and sat down on the bed. ”The drawing is beautiful, you know."

Alec turned the paper around, he didn’t like people looking at his art before it was done. But he didn’t turn it before Izzy got to see. He looked away. “Nothing happened. Magnus modelled, I drew. And then I finished and I came home,” he said. 

“Alec, I can see that something happened.”

“Nothing happened, Izzy. You’re reading too much into this. We just talked a little. And then I went home.” And he hadn’t stopped thinking about him ever since he left. And he dreamt about him every night, and he woke up every night, in his bed, thoughts of Magnus in his mind, Magnus next to him, Magnus… doing things to him. And it was wrong. So wrong. What would his parents say, if they knew? What would Jace think? Would he ever want to spar with Alec again, if he knew? Would he ever want to even hug him? Shake hands? Or would he think it was wrong, that Alec was messed up and disgusting? It didn't matter, anyway. Because he wouldn’t tell anyone. He couldn’t. 

“Alec, listen. I don’t know what happened but I have a guess and it’s okay. It’s not bad. I just want you to be happy and be yourself. I’ve never seen you work on a project more than you have on this one. Talk to him again or not. Do what you want and think is right. But stop tormenting yourself like this. You are my awesome big brother. You protect us and you are there when we need you. You are a pain in the ass sometimes but we love you and we always will. Nothing can ever change that.”

“Maybe not for you. But you can’t speak for Jace, and you definitely can’t speak for mom and dad. You know they wouldn't be happy, Izzy. And if they decide to cut me off, I’ll have nowhere to stay, there’d be no one paying for my course. I barely earn enough money to buy food every month, much less for everything else that I’d need. I just… just for a few more years. And then… then I’ll think about it.”

“Magnus is stealing your breath and your sleep. And he talks about you all the time, wants to know how you're doing. I think he will wait… but not for years Alec. I don’t know that much love but I know that this is not something that happens often. Don’t throw it away. I will help you if they really should stop paying and Jace will, too. You will still live with us, no matter what they say. Believe in me. I am able to protect you if I have to.”

“Just… leave me alone, Iz. It doesn’t matter. And this is really none of your business, I’ll do whatever I want to do. Now, please, let me be.” 

“I love you Alec, and I hate to see you like this. Please think about it… talk to Jace. Maybe he can help,” she sighed as she stood up. Izzy moved over to Alec and kissed his cheek before she left the room. 

Alec sighed, closing his eyes as he heard the door close behind him. And he tried not to see Magnus, he tried to imagine anyone else behind closed eyelids. But Magnus kept appearing, and Alec kept pushing the image away. He stood up, he couldn’t work more on this today. He needed to clear his mind, get his head straight. He’d come back to this, he’d finish the painting some other day. He just needed to get Magnus off his mind. 

* * *

Alec finished the drawing. He still didn’t get across just how beautiful Magnus really was, he could never get just the right shape, the right shade, he could never get it quite right, he could never make it perfect. But the due date came and Alec handed in the drawing and, out of obligation, he sent a picture of it to Magnus. He’d promised, after all. He wasn’t about to break that promise. Alec didn’t have high hopes for his grades but... he expected to pass the class, at the very least.

What he definitely didn’t expected was the reaction from the teacher. When Alec got back the drawing it had a sticky note it. 

Alec had been expecting a lot, but… most certainly not that. His teacher wanted him to do another drawing, wanted him to use Magnus as a model again. His teacher had loved it. Alec hadn’t been satisfied but… his teacher had loved it. And asked him to use Magnus as a model again, and wanted to publish the picture to the school. Which meant that Alec needed to talk to Magnus again. 

He thought about it the whole jog home, considered his options. He wanted a good grade. Magnus’s modelling had given him a good grade, his teacher wanted him to do it more and pleasing his teacher would definitely be good for his grade. So really, he didn’t have a choice, 

_Hey, Magnus. You wanted to know how it went with the painting, so… I got an A+ AL_

_Thanks a lot. I couldn’t have done it without you. AL_

_That's awesome! I’m so glad I could help you out. MB_

_And my offer is still on the table. If you want to… figure out this part of yourself. I would be more than willing to help you out. MB_

_No, Magnus. I already told you no. AL_

_But I do need to ask you something. AL_

_Of course. Anything at all, Alexander. MB_

  
  


_My teacher really loved the drawing, she asked me if it was okay with you if they published it on the schools website. AL_

_Because you’re naked and all, they’ll need your permission to show it to anyone. AL_

_You know I’m not shy about my body. And you’ve most certainly done me justice in your drawing, so I’m fine with it, if you are. MB_

_Izzy’s told me you’re shy about your art. If you don’t want it to be published, you can say I said no. But I don’t mind if you don’t mind. MB_

_I don’t mind. As long as you’re sure it’s okay. AL_

_Hey, in 500 years someone might find that painting and make it the next Mona Lisa or something. MB_

_Yeah, or someone just wanks to it.AL_

_If that’s what they want to do. But I’ve never heard of anyone jerking off to Michelangelo's Adam. It’s not exactly that sort of picture. MB_

_Anyway, the point is that I don’t mind, as long as you don't mind. MB_

  
  


_I’ll let the teacher know then. AL_

_She would said she'd like to see more of you. AL_

_More of me? Or more of your drawings of me? Because one is a little inappropriate and the other one I completely support. MB_

_More drawings. Probably in different formats. This was a simple pencil drawing. She’d probably like to see some oil painting, or something. I’ll have to ask what exactly she means. AL_ _  
_ _So you really don’t mind? AL_

_No, I don’t mind. If you can handle it. MB_

_Of course I can handle it. What’s that supposed to mean? You think I’m no more than my… instincts, or whatever? Do you think I have no impulse control? AL_

_That’s not what I mean. I know you can control yourself but it hurts you. I saw it on your eyes, just as you turned around. MB_

_I’m fine, Magnus. AL_ _  
_ _If you want to do this again, I’ll text you someday, later, once I ask my teacher what exactly she wants me to do. AL_

_Okay. Just let me know. MB_

_I will.-AL_

Of course Alec would text Magnus again. He wanted to be good in school and if his teacher liked that so much, then fine. He would deliver. Alec kept telling himself that this would be the only reason he’d contact Magnus again. Not because he might want to see him. Not because he hadn’t stopped thinking about him, not because he couldn’t get the image of Magnus out of his head. He just wanted a good grade. And this would help with that. 

Alec sighed and put down his phone. He needed to text his teacher and tell her what Magnus had said, ask her what exactly she wanted. And he needed to do his homework, and he needed to write an essay for another class, he was drowning in work and he couldn’t take time to think about Magnus, he couldn’t take time to even consider doing anything with Magnus. He couldn’t even keep with his relationship with his siblings, and he lived with them. His relationship with Magnus would be purely for drawing, Alec promised himself that.

* * *

A week later, Alec was knocking on Magnus’s door again. He’d asked his teacher what exactly she wanted, and all she’d said was more Magnus. She’d given Alec a new assignment, to make any drawing or painting of his choice, as long as Magnus was in it, as long as it showed the same emotions and feelings as the last one. Alec convinced himself the feeling she was talking about was just that he’d managed to capture the glow in Magnus’s eyes, the flow of his body in the position he was in, the tiny rise of Magnus’s lips, the hint of a smile… and not Alec’s feelings, not what Alec felt about Magnus. That didn’t affect the drawing, he could have drawn someone else just as well. His teacher had just liked Magnus, she’d just liked the drawing and she wanted to see some more with this model, it made sense. It was fine. That was all. 

Magnus opened the door, looking as beautiful as always, looking so perfectly good to draw. Some people were just made to be drawn, and Magnus was definitely one of them. Alec took a deep breath. “Hey. Thank you, for letting me do this. I really appreciate it, it’s helping me out a lot,” he said. 

“Of course, it’s my pleasure,” Magnus said, waving Alec inside. “So, how do you want me this time?” he asked. 

“You won’t have to be… you’ll get to keep your clothes on,” Alec said. “I was thinking just… if you don’t mind, you have a really great view from your balcony. I was thinking if you could stand out there, and I could get the view behind you, it could look pretty good.” 

“Sure. But I could take my shirt off. Or wear an open shirt. All for artistic purposes, of course.” Magnus teased. 

“But are you sure you won’t get cold? You really don’t have to,” Alec said. He wouldn’t mind having Magnus shirtless. He’d gotten through Magnus naked, he could handle shirtless. 

“I'm sure I will be just fine. I sit almost naked outside every morning and drink my coffee, so I should be fine standing there for a little while with an open shirt.”

“You what?” Alec sputtered, surprised by the information he definitely wasn’t expecting. 

“When I get up in the morning I just put on a bathrobe, make coffee and then go drink it outside. The robe is more then nothing but it’s really thin, so it doesn’t keep me warm or anything… now try not to think too much about me sleeping naked and come on out.”

Alec’s face flushed red and he followed Magnus out to the balcony. He tried to focus on his pencils, while Magnus took off his shirt. Alec prefered drawings over paintings, but he would try to colour it this time. The other drawing was simple black and white, but Alec wanted to take it a step further. If he was gonna do something for extra credit, he would go all the way with it. 

“So… just me leaning over the railing and looking over the city or do you have something special in mind? I could also sit down in a chair, and look up to the sky.”

Alec looked up to Magnus as he considered the question. He hadn’t thought any further than that he wanted Magnus on the balcony. “Um. Maybe you could… just lean on the railing with your elbows, but with your back to the view so you’re turned towards me, and… maybe you could look up at the sky or something, so we get a different position...

“Sounds great to me,” Magnus said and leaned backwards against the railing. “Any good?” Alec nodded. 

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s great. Do you think you could keep that for a while?” he asked. Magnus nodded. “Of course, darling. However long you want me to,” he said. Alec picked up a pencil and looked at Magnus for a minute, just figuring out where to start. He definitely did not spend a moment checking him out, imagining going up to him, kiss those beautiful lips, that neck, the bare chest… Alec focused back down on the piece of paper and started before he could get distracted again. 

Alec started with the basic shape, the outlines and the rough shapes of Magnus. He decided to finish his face last and rather begin with Magnus’ chest. After last time, this wasn't that much of a challenge. But Magnus was well built, so beautiful and so perfectly curved, abs on a beautiful display andh is skin golden, reflecting in the sunlight. Alec bit his lip as he imagined touching those abs, running his hand down Magnus's chest, kissing that beautiful skin..

“Is everything alright, Alec?” Magnus tilted his head, an eyebrow raised.

“Yes, of course… just a little headache” he lied, cheeks flaming red. Surely Magnus couldn't know what had been going through his head... 

“We can take a small break if you want, I'll get you something to drink and maybe a snack so you can recharge.”

“I… no, I’m fine. Let’s just finish this,” Alec said. He just wanted to be done with it. Once he finished his chest, he could tell Magnus to close his shirt, so he wouldn’t get sick or something, and he could focus on his face. 

“Sure. Just let me know if you need a break, darling,” Magnus said, grinning as he got back into position. Alec was sure he was doing this on purpose, offering to take off his shirt, knowing he would be in this position. Alec bit his lip and gripped the pencil tightly as he focused on drawing again. 

“What do you sleep in?”Magnus asked as he leaned his back even more, stretching his neck. Him talking really wasn’t helping Alec focus.

“I… how is that relevant?” he asked, blushing.

“Sorry… just making conversation but I can shut up again if you prefer a silent model.”

“No, no it’s fine. I just… wasn’t expecting it,” Alec said. He didn’t want to hurt Magnus, and he definitely didn’t want awkward silence. “But, uh. Is that really what you want to talk about? Pyjamas?” 

“Well in my case it is the lack of any but you live with your siblings so I guess you must wear something… let’s just talk about something.”

“Okay, um. Tell me… about your course? What are you studying?” he asked. 

“I’m studying fashion,” Magnus said. “So I do some drawing as well, although a very different kind from what you do,” he said. 

“I guess you also have to make them, don’t you? You must be good at sewing and stuff like that.”

“Yeah, I do. It’s quite fun.”

“So do you wear them, too?”

“If it’s something that suits me, yeah. Not all assignments are my style though, unfortunately. But it’s a great gift, though. My friend Catarina loves when I make clothes for her.”

“Do you make any for Izzy, too? I bet she would love it, if it’s tight, small, and black.”

“I actually have made something for her, but I haven’t given it to her yet. I’m saving it for her birthday,” he said. 

“I’m sure she will love it,” said Alec, it was more difficult to focus on the drawing as he talked but things still made some progress.

“I hope so,” Magnus said. “Now... tell me what you sleep in. It's only fair, I told you,” he reminded him. 

Alec blushed again, he took a deep breath and tried to focus again. “I… just a shirt and some boxers or something,” he said. “Nothing special. Why do you keep asking?”

“Knew you would blush again and I find it very cute,” Magnus admitted with a shrug. "And again, you know how I sleep."

“Not out of choice,” Alec muttered, looking back down at the paper again. His hand was shaking, he took a deep breath and tried to focus. “I’m really trying to focus here, Magnus. You’re not helping,” he said. 

“Could be on purpose” said Magnus with a grin. “The longer you take, the longer you’ll be here and the more I hopefully get to you.”

Alec knew this had to be on purpose, in some way. Magnus was… evil. “Seriously? Magnus, I… I’m trying to do school work here. You’re not making it easy to focus.”

“Come on, is it really that bad to be here with me?”

“I don’t have time to think about that, Magnus. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. It’s just extra credit. That’s all it is.” That was all this was, just an extra assignment, just a favour from Magnus. Just that, nothing more. 

“Come on, Alexander. I can see you checking me out, I know what you’re thinking about. There’s no shame in wanting someone, you know.” 

“It’s not about shame, Magnus. It’s about time,” Alec insisted. “I just don’t have time for a relationship. Of any kind.” 

“No one said it had to be a relationship,” Magnus said. “It can just be fun, a few hours of sweating, moaning and coming or just a few simple dates. Maybe kisses if you’re interested.”

Just the few descriptive words were enough to make Alec blush again. He’d thought about it, of course he had, but it couldn’t happen. Magnus didn’t know that he had no experience, that he knew nothing about this. If he knew, he probably wouldn't bother with Alec at all. 

“So… why don’t you just think about it? I am sure I can show you some pretty exciting things.”

“Let’s just… let’s just focus on this. I need to finish this drawing,” he said. But it was already ruined, Alec couldn’t get his mind off Magnus. He imagined Magnus’s hand on himself, Magnus on his bed putting on a show for Alec. He imagined them together, Magnus kissing Alec, touching him, Alec couldn’t focus on the drawing anymore. 

“I... I need to go. I’ll talk to you soon about finishing this project,” he said quickly as he packed his things and then left the place immediately. He just didn’t know how to react to this. Magnus wanted him, obviously. And Alec wanted him, he couldn’t deny it. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t. Magnus wouldn’t want him if he knew how inexperienced he was, as soon as they kissed for the first time, Magnus would see how much of a mess he was and he’d turn him away. And Alec would rather not go through that. 

* * *

Another week passed before Alec stopped by Magnus’s again. He'd tried so hard to forget Magnus, to not think about him. But he couldn't. He couldn't stop imagining Magnus kissing him, holding him, he couldn't stop and he _wanted_ it. He wanted to kiss Magnus, wanted to hold him tight and wanted to be with him. Just for one night. Alec knocked on the door, anxiously wating, wondering if Mangnus would even open the door. 

Magnus did open, a surprised look on his face as he saw it was Alec there waiting for him. Alec was unsure what to say, how to say it. He'd been planning the whole speech in his head and now... instead, he stepped closer, he leaned down, and he kissed him. He kissed him deeply, and it didn't matter that he had no idea what he was doing because just a moment later, Magnus kissed him back. 

After hours, what felt like hours, Magnus slowly pulled back. “This is surprising," he said, smiling softly at Alec. "Where did this come from? And where exactly is it going?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he trailed a hand down Alec's chest.

“I just.. Couldn’t hold back any longer,” Alec said. “And. Wherever you want. Whatever you want, I’ll do it. I want it,” he said. 

“So you're finally gonna stop hiding yourself? You're gonna tell people?" 

“No!” Alec shook his head. “Just… just this once. Just between us,” he said. 

“So what, you want me to be your dirty little secret? Even if we all there is is this one time, I don't want to keep it a secret. I shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have to.”

“But no one needs to know. No one needs to find out.” Alec said. “I just want to do this. You said we could do this with no relationship, nothing attached."

“Yes I did, and I meant it. I still do. But I want you to know who you are and not be ashamed of it.”

“I’m not ashamed. I just don’t want it to get back to my parents,” Alec said. “Can we just do this? Or not, I can go. If you want me to.”

“I do want you.”

“Then let’s not think about what happens later. Let's just think about right now.” 

For a few moments Alec thought Magnus would kick him out, but then the door slammed shut and Magnus looked back to Alec. 

“Few more questions” he said slowly. “You haven’t had sex before, right? At least not with a man."

"Of course I have!" Alec lied, he had to. He knew Magnus would never want to do this otherwise, and... he really, really wanted it. He didn't have time for the dates and everything, but he just wanted this, just one time. And he wanted it with Magnus. "Don't worry, you won't be my first."

Magnus nodded, then grinned. "Well then, what are we waiting for, hm?" Magnus took Alec's hand and pulled him along, into his bedroom and onto the bed. Alec didn't get the time to look around in the new room, as Magnus was on top of him the second his back hit the matress. "Are you sure you want this, Alexander?"

Alec nodded. “Yes. Magnus, I want this,” he said. Magnus was so close, Alec could feel his lips moving, wouln't even need to move to kiss him. And then Magnus kissed him, and Alec realized this really was happening, and he kissed back, and he gave himself over and he let himself enjoy this, gave in for just one day, just one time. This felt right, for once in his life, it really did.

* * *

Alec couldn't remember having fallen asleep when he woke up. At first, he was sure it had all been a dream, another twisted dream to torture him. But a moment later he felt a dull pain in his lower back, and he opened his eyes and saw he wasn't in his room, in his bed. This bed was much bigger, much softer, and it smelled like Magnus. And Magnus wasn't there. 

Alec sat up with a wince, he'd known he'd be sore for a while, but... he still couldn't get quite used to it. Still, Alec pushed it aside and looked around, wondering where Magnus had gone. Surely he hadn't let him there alone? He couldn't have been that bad... Alec pushed himself out of bed and pulled on some clohes before heading into the living room. Empty. "Magnus? Are you here?" he called out. 

“In here, darling. The kitchen,” he heard Magnus’s voice after a moment. Alec’s smile returned and he followed the voice into the kitchen, where he saw Magnus was making food. “I figured you’d be hungry after all that. I’m almost done, why don’t you just sit down and relax while I finish up?” he suggested.

Alec nodded and sat down, wincing again as pain shot up his lower back. Magnus looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I hope I didn't go too hard of you. Do you not usually bottom?" he asked. 

"Uh, no, i... I usually don't," Alec said. He got a bad feeling in his stomach as he lied, like he'd triked Magnus into doing something he wouldn't have done otherwise, he'd lied to him. 

“I think you should let me take you out for dinner. Proper dinner, after all that,” Magnus said. “Just as friends, if that’s all you want. Although… I really hope you don’t do that with all your friends.”

"You said we could do this with no strings attached," Alec protested. "I told you, I really don't have time for any kind of comittment."

Magnus sighed. “I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to. But I want you to know you don’t have to hide anything, you don’t have to be ashamed.” Magnus served the food he’d made, simple omelette and toast. “At least take some time to think about it. I really enjoy the time we spend together, you know. And I’m sure you do, too, or you wouldn’t keep coming back.”

“It’s not that easy,” Alec sighed as he looked at the plate. “I’ll think about it, okay? But for now… let’s not talk about this, please?”

“Fine. Eat your food then, Alexander. And it’s almost dark, you should be heading home soon,” he said. 

“Almost dark?! How long did I sleep? How long did we take?”Alec asked, surprised. 

“A while,” Magnus said. “You were out for hours. Tired, I guess. But it doesn’t matter. I would offer you to stay over, but I get the feeling you wouldn’t want that,” he said. 

“No… but thank you, I have to get back home, Izzy would… would be worried and maybe come to look for me and I have a feeling that she would look for me here and then she’d never stop telling me how okay this would be and that she loves me and only wants me happy and all that.”

“You say that like it is a bad thing. You should be thankful that you have a sister like her,” Magnus said.

“Magnus… I don't want to talk about it, okay? Please.” 

“Sure. Finish your food Alexander.”

Alec pushed his plate away. “I’m done,” he said. “Thank you, Magnus, I… goodbye,” he said. 

“At least let me follow you to the door, Alexander.” 

There was an awkward silence as they walked through the house, Magnus seemed to be out of things to say and Alec didn't know how to say any of what he wanted to. He mumbled a goodbye under his breath as he pulled on his shoes and jackets, and then left quickly before he could change his mind. It was cold outside, and it helped him clear his head a little more. Alec left, and decided he wouldn’t come back. He’d gotten his night with Magnus, he’d satisfied his curiosity, now he could go back to his life before he met Magnus, before all these feelings. He could move on. 

Alec tried to enjoy the late walk through the city, but he couldn't stop thinking, couldn't get his mind off Magnus. He just needed a few days, he told himself. In a few days, everything would be fine. 

He got home after a while, opened the door and stepped in to be met by his siblings glaring at him. "Um. Hi? What are you guys doing?"

“Waiting for you. We know you don’t have any archery stuff tonight, nor do you have any other plan you told us about and you don’t have things to do, and yet you spent all day out. So there must be something you didn’t tell us."

“I was just taking a walk,” Alec said, rolling his eyes and pushing past his siblings. “And I wasn’t aware you cared so much, anyway. Don’t you have better things to do than follow me around at all times?” 

“Not if you’re keeping secrets from us,” Izzy replied. “I know where you were, Alec. You were with Magnus, right? You have that look on your face,” she said. 

“That look? What look?” Alec questioned, not answering her question. Why did it matter to them where he spent his time?“The look of a teenager who just spoke to his crush. You’re head over heels, Alec, clearly.”

“Shut up,” Alec muttered and shook his head. “Even if that actually is what happened, it doesn't matter. It definetly won't be happening again. I am not like that. I can’t be, and you both know that. Just leave me alone."

“It’s fine, Alec” Jace said and stepped closer. “Who cares what our parents think? If Magnus makes you happy then go for it.”

“I don’t need Magnus to be happy. It’s already bad enough that I decided not to follow in their footsteps and become a lawyer, but then come out as gay? I would be disowned the very second the word even left my mouth,” he said. “And I do care what they think. You guys might not, but I do. And I’d rather be alone and have them still consider me their son, than be with someone.”

“I never said you needed Magnus to be happy but come on, even you must have noticed that he does make you happy. Maybe he’s not the right one for you in the long run but he could be good for you for now. And you don’t have to tell our parents if you are not comfortable with that, but you need to accept it, for yourself. It’s not a bad thing Alec. Your life won’t change much when you accept it. You don’t even have to come out but you should think about it and come to terms with it… for yourself.”

“I have come to terms with it,” Alec said. “And even if I did give Magnus a chance, he doesn't want to be my dirty little secret. And rightly so, he shouldn’t have to be anyone’s secret. He’s proud of who he is and he should be able to express that. I can’t, and if he’s with me, he can’t either. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.”

“Sure… but think about it Alec. You, too deserve to be happy. To be who you are and don’t hide," Izzy said. 

Alec walked away without an answer, trying to push away and ignore the words spinning around in his head. 


	2. Chapter 2

In the Lightwood family, it wasn’t the kids that went home for spring break, but rather the parents that finally came back from all their business trips. They always made sure to be home during the holidays, though Alec couldn’t really see why. Probably to spend time with Max, who only came home from boarding school during the holidays, but they'd usually just ignore them all anyway. 

Mostly his life went as normal. He had a few assignments to work on during the holidays, he kept up his archery training and other than the extra time spared from classes, Alec’s life was pretty much the same. Except that his parents were home, and Alec spent even more time outside the house, or locked in his room, to avoid them. 

Izzy had spent years trying to convince Alec to get some sort of social media, any of the many options. Alec had always resisted, but now… Alec had made a user in all of them, had found Magnus and… he was going crazy, he had to be. He’d spend hours, days, just staring at the pictures, the videos. Magnus was so beautiful, Alec couldn’t stop looking. He’d drawn many of the pictures, kept them stored in a drawer under all the other drawings, where he was sure no one would find them. 

It had been almost a week since he’d seen Magnus and two since they’d had sex, and Alec still wasn't at peace with himself. He couldn't let anyone find out what he was, or his whole life would be over. His parents would disown him for sure, and he'd have no money and nowhere to live. Sure, he had a part time job but that would barely pay for food, Alec had to save up for weeks before he could buy simple art supplies. But he couldn't be with Magnus, people would find out eventually. And Magnus wouldn't want to keep it secret, he didn't want to be Alec's secret. But when Alec looked at the pictures, of Magnus smiling, happy, Alec dreamed of a better world. An easier one.

Until a certain picture. Magnus, beautiful as usual, smiling at the camera. And his arm around someone, holding him close. Ragnor, it said in the description. Magnus and Ragnor. Who was this Ragnor? Alec had never heard of him, never seen him. He couldn’t be from the university, surely Alec would know someone so close to Magnus… 

For the next few days, the picture was all Alec could think about. He was grumpy, annoyed all the time. Izzy and Jace knew why, of course they did. And they made sure to show Alec just how much they disagreed with how he chose to live his life. Alec was tired of them, of Magnus, of everything. So one night, he left. 

Izzy and Jace were at some party. Max was already sleeping by the time he left and Maryse and Robert didn’t even notice. So Alec left unnoticed, hailed a cab and told him to get him to the closest club. 

Alec wanted to get his mind off Magnus, and what better place to do that than a club? He couldn’t get drunk at home, where his parents would have his head for the tiniest mistake, but outside? He could do whatever he wanted, they would never know. Alec got a notification as he sat in the back of the cab, a new picture had been posted. They were on the London eye, Magnus was taking a selfie, his arm arouns Ragnor again. 

Alec knew he had no right to be jealous but he was. It wasn't fair to Magnus, he was out and proud and he deserved to be with someone, but it made Alec angry. Angry that he couldn't be like him, that he couldn't just let himself go and be as fine with everything as Mangus was. Alec wanted to be like him, wanted be with him. But he wouldn't be, he knew that much. It'd never happen. So Alec put away his phone, stepped out of the cab, into the club. It was full of people, dim lights dancing around the room. It smelled of sweat at alcohol, and people of all genders were dancing, grinding against each other, drinking. Alec pushed through the crowds to the bar and ordered the first thing on the menu. It came in a shot glass, and Alec downed it in one go.

It burned on the way down his throat. Alec ordered a second one, and a third. The room was spinning by the time he stood up, Alec almost fell, but someone caught him. Strong arms, tan skin… Beautiful brown eyes, but… not Magnus. No, not Magnus. But beautiful, and so close… And there was no on there, no siblings, no parents, nothing mattered. They danced, bodies pressed up against each other in the crowd. They were sweaty, both of them, warm and so close to each other. And their faces got closer and closer, almost touching, lips so close he could almost taste them. And Alec remembered his first kiss, just two weeks ago. So soft and so good, Magnus had held him close and kissed him… and in the faint light, if Alec squinted, this stranger could almost be Magnus, could almost look like him. 

Alec’s sight was blurry, he barely remembered following the man out, barely remembered being led back to a back alley. He didn’t even notice the man they passed, the man dressed in an expensive looking suit just coming out of the cab as they passed. He definitely didn’t notice the man recognizing him, snapping a picture. 

He did however remember what happened in the alley. He remembered kissing the stranger deeply, they bodies almost wrapped around each other as they leaned against the wall. He remembered hands roaming over all their bodies, he remembered moaning Magnus’s name… and he remembered pulling away, staring at the stranger who wasn’t Magnus, who was the furthest thing from Magnus. Alec remembered stumbling away, hailing a cab. He remembered his parents not acknowledging him as he came back home, where the first thing he did was kneel in front of the toilet, throwing up all the liquid he had downed earlier. He remembered falling into bed, where he woke up the next morning with a terrible taste in his mouth, his clothes crumpled and dirty, and a terrible headeache. He forced himself out of bed, stood up to take a shower, to clean himself up. 

Alec spent a long time in the shower. He kept the water cool on his warm skin, he could barely remember anything, just… the man, who was nothing like Magnus, who was so different from him in every way possible. He couldn’t believe that he had really done that. How much further things could have gone.

Alec finished up in the shower and got out, got dressed, and headed down for breakfast. He was starving, he’d thrown up everything in his stomach the night before. The house was empty, which was surprising at this time of the day. Izzy and Jace should be waking up around now, if they had come home at all. His parents were probably in their office, working. And Max… had probably gone to spend the day with a friend. Alec thought he had the house to himself, until he got to the kitchen and found Izzy and Jace staring at him. 

“What are you doing awake? I figured you’d be waking up now,” Alec said, frowning at the two but not paying them much attention as he went to make himself coffee. 

“Alec, what the hell did you do last night?” Jace asked. “Mom and dad won’t talk to us, but they’re furious. They’ve been arguing all morning,” he said. 

“Did you… tell them?” Izzy asked. Alec frowned and shook his head, wincing slightly at the pain.

“I didn’t do anything. I didn’t even talk to them last night. Are you sure it’s me they’re mad at?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, no. But... they sound pretty mad, Alec. They said something about another man and... It just sounds like, you know. They found out about you."

“What? But… how? How did they…” Alec looked at Izzy. “Please tell me this is some cruel joke.”

“Of course not... I'd never do that to you," Izzy said. "But maybe this is a good thing. I mean, they sound mad right now, but if you just give them some time, I'm sure they'd come to terms with it," she said. "I can try to talk to them, if you want?" 

"No." Alec shook his head. "However they found out, I'm sure I can convince them it was a misunderstanding. I can fix this. Where are they?" 

“In the office,” Jace said. “You might want to have breakfast first, though. Considering how long they've been yelling... I don't think they'll be easy to talk to.” he said. 

Alec shook his head. “I’m not hungry,” he muttered. “It’s just a misunderstanding. It’ll be okay, I’ll see you guys soon,” he said and left the kitchen. Alec felt sick, almost wanted to run away. But he needed to stay calm, he needed to prove to them that it was all a misunderstanding, and he couldn't do that if he looked terrified. 

Alec took a deep breath as he went up the stairs, he could already hear his parent's muffled yelling and he wanted to turn around and leave, wanted to hide in his room and never face them. But that would just prove they were right, and they weren't. Alec wasn't like that.

Alec stopped outside the door, he could hear what they were saying now, could hear it clearly and it didn't help to ease his mind.

 _“Of course it’s your fault! He's not gay, you said. It'll be fine, you said, and now look at him. I warned you about this years ago, we could have done something about this!"_ Alec heard his mother yell and it took everything he had to not just flip on his heels and run. She was furious, he could hear it. And his father was no better when he replied, yelling about how it wasn't his fault, how Alec had been fine before. " _We can fiix him,"_ he said, and Alec felt like throwing up again. His father mention therapy, and summer camp, like it was an illness, like he'd comitted a crime, like there was something wrong with him. 

But how had his parents found out? They weren’t at the club, they couldn’t have been. They’d been home when he left and still there when he came back. Had someone told them? Izzy and Jace wouldn’t have… Magnus was off in London with Ragnor… he wouldn’t have texted his parents, would he? He was the only other person who knew, but… it couldn’t be him. Magnus wasn’t like that. Someone at the club must have seen him. But how did it get through to his parents?

Alec waited a moment longer, but then knew he had to get this over with, he just had to do it. Alec knocked on the door and stepped inside. They immediately went quiet, two pairs of cold eyes stared at Alec. 

“What do you want?” Robert asked, and Alec felt it like a punch to the stomach. He took a deep breath and tried to keep calm. 

“I just wanted to ask what's wrong,” he said. "You're... you're being very loud," he said. 

“Oh, you know what’s going on,” Maryse said. “You know perfectly well what’s going on. You have ruined everything, that’s what's going on. First you decide to do _art,_ out of all the things in the world, you want to do the most useless, pathetic one. And then you kiss a man, right in front of our business friend. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re doing it on purpose. What did we ever do to you, Alec? You can’t even pretend, to keep the honour to our family name. You’re a disgrace.”

“Your... your business friend?" 

“Aldertree has been our client on many occasions, we have helped him grow his business. And he was going to this club yesterday, he’s planning to expand his business and figured that would be a good place to start. And guess who he saw there, making out with a man, right in the middle of the street?” 

That’s how they’d found out? From Aldertree? Alec hated that guy, he was so… sure of himself, so arrogant and annoying. And he was fixed on ruining Alec’s life. “I’m sure it was a mistake. You all know I’m not the clubbing kind of guy. Maybe he just saw someone who looked-” 

“He took a picture, it is clearly you!” Robert interrupted. 

“It could just be someone who looked like me. I’m not like that, you know I’m not like that. I would never do that to us. To our family.”

He wouldn’t. He’d spent years denying himself everything, telling himself it was for his family, for his parents. He’d said no to Magnus, he’d said no to everything. And then he’d been caught with the first guy he didn’t care about, didn’t want. The universe really had to be trying to punish him for something. 

“I had hoped you wouldn’t,” Maryse said. “But you did. Good job, Alec. I hope you’re proud of yourself. Now get out of my sight. Get out of here. Out of my house. I don't want to see you back here.”

“You’re kicking me out? Where am I supposed to go?” Alec had always known his parents would be furious, that they'd disown him, but... to have it really happen, it hurt so much, so much more than he could even try to explain. 

“To your boyfriend's house, since he’s more important to you than your own family,” Maryse said. “I don’t care. Just get away from me. I don’t want you anywhere near my family.”

“This one is not my boyfriend, I don’t even know him. I… Please.” said Alec and looked at his parents. “I don’t even know this man.”

“And that’s supposed to make it better? That’d you’d ruin our family name for a stranger?”

“No, but... but..." he stammered. He didn’t know what to say to make this better. 

“You have three hours to get your things and leave. The university is already paid for this year but next year you have to find out how to pay for that useless classes and all those supplied you need.”

“Mom, dad… please. I promise, it was just a mistake. I was drunk and angry and… and I won’t do it again, I promise. Please.”

“ Three hours, starting now. I suggest you use the time wisely.”

Alec didn’t know what to say, what to do. He couldn't believe this was happening. 

“Go, now.”

Alec turned, hands shaking as he opened the door, navigated through the halls, to his room. He was glad Izzy and Jace were waiting for him in the kitchen, that way he could avoid them. He looked around in his room, the room he considered his home, his own little place, his safe haven. Not anymore.

Alec grabbed a suitcase. He knew his parents weren't joking, and he couldn't leave anything behind. He'd never be able to get it back, they'd probably throw it out or burn it. Alec packed his art supplies, his pencils and brushes, the different papers and the paint. He also made sure to get every piece he had made in there. He could have his parents burn his clothes but just the thought of them burning his art was too much. 

Once his suitcase was full he closed it and then looked for a bag to get some clothes. Luckily for him, he didn’t have many of them. He packed a few identical shirts and pants, but clothes weren’t his priority. His bow was more important, his bow and his art, his laptop, a few clothes, that was all he needed. Maybe he should get a sleeping bag, too. And some things from the bathroom. Once he had all of it, he looked around. He had no idea where to go.

He couldn’t live on the street, he had to find somewhere. If he was quick, he could get a hotel room with his credit card before his parents blocked it. But that wouldn’t last forever. He needed to get a job, needed to get somewhere to stay… 

“Oh my god, Alec! What is going on?” asked Izzy, standing in the doorway with wide eyes. 

Alec turned to look at her. For a moment, he didn’t know what to say. He had been hoping to avoid his siblings entirely. But he couldn’t, of course he couldn’t. They were his siblings, they wouldn’t let him even if he tried. Alec sighed. “It’s nothing. I’m just… going away for a while,” he said. “Don’t worry, I won’t go far. We’ll still see each other at uni.” Maybe if he was lucky, he could get a scholarship for next year. That would solve that problem at least, because he was sure… if he could maybe manage to afford food and rent, he definitely wouldn’t afford university. 

“Where are you going?” she asked. “They can’t do that, Alec. I... I'll talk to them, they can’t just kick you out.”

“Of course they can. It’s their house, their money. And I have embarrassed them. I deserve this.”

“Alec, I… You can stay with Simon, if you want. I’ll call him and you can sleep on his couch. He has some extra space so it should be okay, at least for a while. Please don’t just say no. Let me help you”

“You want me to live with the guy who never shuts up? Who makes me want to jump out a window just to stop hearing him talk about Star Wars? No thank you, Iz. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay and where do you plan to live then? I could ask Magnus, or … Meliorn but you like him even less then Simon and I can’t let you sleep on the streets, Alec.”

“I’ll get a job, ask for an early payment, get an apartment, I’ll be fine. I promise you, Isabelle. I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t doubt that, but you won’t find a job in a day, just stay with Simon for a week. Or until you find that job, please. Alec. I know you're more than able to take care of yourself but... you can't live on the streets, Alec. You can't."

“I won’t. I’ll get a hotel room, I’ll use my credit card before mom and dad block it. Which is why I need to hurry. I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“Don’t do that, this will only end in more stress with them. Please take the easier way, stay with a friend.”

“I don’t have any friends, Izzy. And I’m not going to stay with one of your friends who I’ve never met before. They’ve already disowned me, they’ve already thrown me out. What more can they do?”

“Expect that money back and since you won’t be able to afford a lawyer and they both are… I’d guess you’d lose that one. I get that you don’t want to stay with someone you never met but how about...Magnus? I know things are not easy between you at the moment but he would let you stay there.”

“Magnus is in London, Izzy. And even if he was here, I really doubt he’d want to see me.”

“But he has a spare key. He keeps it hidden… somewhere, he never told me. But if you text him, I’m sure he’d be more than willing to help. He knows what it’s like to have disapproving parents, and if he’s in London, that means you won’t even have to meet him. Please, just text him. Ask him.”

“Izzy, I really don't want to." But what chocie did he have, really? Izzy was right, he couldn't live on the streets. And he had no one else to turn to. Magnus was so kind and understand, he probably would let Alec stay without a second tought. And... and if he wasn't there, it wouldn't be that bad. He'd just borrow a room for a few days and he'd pay him back once he got a job. "Okay. Can you... can you text him for me? Please?"

“Okay. I’ll text him. You just stay here, I’m sure he’ll answer soon enough,” Izzy said, pulling up her phone.

“I only have 90 minutes left. They gave me three hours to pack and leave.”

“90 minutes is enough to get you a place,” she said. “Just sit down, or finish packing if you haven’t yet.”

“No I… I have everything ready," Alec said and sat down with a sigh. 

“Yes… do that. We will make this work, Alec. It will be okay” said Izzy, kissed his cheek and then left to get her phone. 

* * *

About an hour later Alec was standing in front of Magnus’ flat, the key in his hand and his stuff next to him. It was okay with Magnus but Alec felt weird. He'd never been in there without Magnus, the place felt weirdly empty.

He’d been here often enough to know his way around. But this wasn’t his house, it was Magnus’s. Alec felt like an intruder, coming in, taking the food from the cupboards, sleeping in the spare bed, using Magnus’s electricity, it felt wrong. 

And Alec didn’t even know if he’d ever be able to pay him back, or how long it would take, if he did. Alec left his stuff in the spare bedroom and pulled out his laptop. He needed to find a job as soon as possible, preferably before Magnus came back from London. 

There weren’t many jobs in the area, especially not jobs for someone with no degree, with no experience. Because his parents were right… art wouldn’t get him anywhere. Nobody cared about whether or not he could draw, that didn’t matter if you were going to work behind a counter, ringing people up or making drinks. Alec found a few places hiring baristas and cashiers, and those were his best chances. He sent out emails immediately, hoping to get a job interview as soon as possible. 

Alec finished looking through the job offers and he didn't know what more to do. He sat for a long time, staring at a spot on the wall. 

He still had his membership to the archery range, so after what felt like hours, Alec decided to get out of the house, to go do something with himself. 

This went on for the following days, Alec send out some more applications, went to an interview and then to the archery range. He had imagined things would go quicker but soon a week had passed and he still had no job. He still refused to believe this was more than just a quick stay and so his suitcase was still locked and his clothes still in the bag. In two days Magnus would come back home and Alec really didn’t want to be in the flat when Magnus and his boyfriend came back. 

But once again, life didn’t turn out the way Alec wanted, and he was there when Magnus came back. Still, Alec made sure to let Magnus be in peace when he got home. He went out to the archery range, and he had an interview later in the day, so he didn’t get back before late in the evening. 

Alec had been hoping Magnus would be out at some party or something, but Magnus was definitely there when he arrived. The lights were on, and there was music coming from the living room. Alec held his breath as he kicked off his shoes and pulled off his jacket. He didn’t want to face Magnus. He knew he'd have to face him eventually, but... not now. He wasn't ready for that. 

Alec frowed as he heard two voices coming from the living room, and he wondered who was there with Magnus. He tried to walk past the living room unnoticed, but the world just seemed to be against him. "Alexander, hey. Come here, let me introduce you," Magnus said, waving Alec over. Alec cursed under his breath and turned to look at Magnus and... Ragnor. Alec felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Of course Magnus had brought Ragnor, probably just to prove to Alec how over him he was.

“Hi… sorry to still be here, I... I’ll be in the spare room so you two can do whatever you want.” 

“No, stay here with us,” Magnus said. “At least let me introduce you. This is Ragnor. He’s working in London, but he’s gonna be staying here for a few weeks,” he said. 

“Nice to meet you,” Alec said, trying but probably failing to actually look happy. 

“Nice to meet you,too. I’ve heard rather a lot about you, Magnus kept talking about you and your amazing art works," Ragnor said. 

Alec felt his face heat up and he looked down at the ground. “I’m sure Magnus is just being kind. Kinder than I deserve. It’s really nothing special,” he said. Magnus had talked about him. He’d mentioned him to Ragnor. But how could Alec know what he’d said? Maybe he’d told him all about how annoying Alec was… 

“Oh I am really not,” said Magnus.

“Magnus is never just nice,” Ragnor said. "So either he's telling the truth, or you really have him smitten," Ragnor chuckled. “That’s what I really like about him, he’s honest and direct.”

“I had a great model. Anyone can draw if they have a good model,” Alec said. 

“No, Alexander. The best I can do is a stickman, no matter who the model is,” Magnus said. “Just accept the praise, will you? You’re a wonderful artist."

“Thank you… but it really doesn't matter, art won't pay the bills. But I’ve had an interview today and I got it, so I will move out here soon. Thank you so much for letting me stay but I can promise you that I won’t stay here for much longer.”

“You’re here as a friend, Alexander. You don’t need to pay bills while you’re here, I don’t expect you to. And you can stay for however long you have to. At least till you settle into your new job.”

“Magnus, you really don’t have to do this.”  
“I want to, Alexander. You’re a friend, friends help each other when they’re in need,” he said. 

“I... I really appreciate it, Magnus. But I wouldn't want to intrude, with you two here."

“If this is because of me," Ragnor interejcted. "I don't think Magnus would forgive me if you left because of me. We're both good friends of Magnus, I'm sure we can get along, don't you think?" 

“You don’t need to pretend, I can take it. You guys are… you know. I wouldn’t want to disturb you in the few weeks you get together.”

“You’re acting weirdly, Alexander. If I spent more than a few weeks with Ragnor, I’d probably murder him. He can get very annoying,” Magnus said.

“Well, thank you, Magnus. You're my best friend, too,” Ragnor said sarcastically. 

“You know it’s true. We drove each other crazy all the time when we were roommates, remember?” Magnus chuckled. “Anyway, my point is that you’re more than welcome to stay for however long you want, until you’re ready to get your own place. Okay?”

“So... so you two are just... just friends?” Had he really read way too much into those pictures? Had all of this really happened because of nothing? Alec was always complaining about the people on tv making drama of the tiniest things, and now he'd become one of them. 

“Yes? Of course we are. Ragnor and I have known each other since we were kids. He’s one of my oldest friends,” Magnus said. 

“Oh. Yeah, of course he is…” Alec suddenly felt like an idiot for what he’d been thinking. Of course he was just a friend. Magnus had been with Alec just a few weeks ago, and he wouldn’t go to London for someone he met after that. And he definitely wouldn’t cheat, Magnus wasn’t like that… Alec was such an idiot.

“Did you really think…? I am not dating him, never have and never will. So you don’t have to feel like you might be in the way for anything because there is nothing happening,” Magnus said. “Now… will you tell us about that job you got today? You mentioned you got one," Magnus said.

Alec still felt embaressed and stupid, especially with both men looking at him, he couldn't shake the feeling that they were judging him, that they knew just how stupid he'd been, just how he'd ended up in this situation. At Magnus's question, Alec tried to reply as quickly as possible, and mumbled a few words about the coffee shop a few blocks away. 

But of course that wasn't enough for Magnus, and he kept asking more, kept Alec talking, until they found themselves sitting on the couch, all three talking about all kinds of things. After a little while, Alec started to even like Ragnor, and the friendship between Magnus and Ragnor was so clear Alec wondered how he'd ever thought they were more than that.

“Well, I guess I should go to bed,” Ragnor said after he’d glanced at his watch. “It’s really late for me, but you two can keep chatting, as long you're not too loud, good night.” 

Alec had gotten comfortable throughout the night, but now that Ragnor left and Alec was alone with Magnus again and… for a moment, Alec didn’t know what to say. 

“So… I’m sure you’re tired from your flight here, I understand if you want to go to sleep as well,” Alec said. He didn’t know what else to say, somehow it felt completely different when it was just Magnus there. 

“I’m not tired,” Magnus said. “I’m fine. Are you?” 

“Me? Of course I am…”

“Really? Because you’ve been through a lot and I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t,” he said. 

“I… I'm okay," he said, shrugging. "I... I just, I'm just worried about the future. I need to be good at this job, I need money to eat and... and I need a phone service, to call my siblings and talk to them and my membership to the archery range ends next week and I know it's not really a need and I shouldn't be as worried about it as I am, but... but archery has always been my way of coping with everything and if I can't do that, I... I don't know how I'll manage to deal with everything. And I can't even think about what to do when the semester ends, I'm never gonna be able to afford next year and I could get a loan but I'll never be able to pay it back. I just... There's just so much I can't do anymore, so many things I took for granted and... no. I'm not... I'm not okay. I'm lost, I'm... I'm fumbling around in the darkness and I have no idea where to go."

“You can stay here free of charge, until you have a good job and somewhere to stay. And I’m sure you could get a scholarship, with your talent,” he said. “Do you want to talk about any of it? I’m here if you do,” he said. 

Alec shook his head. "I'm not that talented," he said. “And... not really… I mean, I don’t know… I never thought they would kick me out, I knew they would shout at me and be angry if they found out, but... but this? Why couldn’t it stay a secret? At least for a while… until I was done with school, had a job, a place to live and didn’t depend on them? I don't undrestand why do they hate me so much for it, I mean… I'm not hurting anybody, I am just… just… I’m gay, why is that such a problem for them?”“I know how you feel, Alexander. I know it’s not easy,” he said. “But it gets easier. It gets better, I promise.”

“Yeah. I guess. I hope so,” he sighed. “And you know what is the worst part of this? It didn’t have to be like that… if only I did not go out that night, I was stupid, angry and then I got drunk. I kissed someone I don’t know and a colleague of my parents saw me… all that because I didn’t just talk to you.”

“You can talk to me now. I know it’s… a little late, but. If you were scared of your parents finding out, you have nothing to lose now,” he said. “Let’s talk, at least. Nothing has to happen, we’ll just talk about it.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. What to tell you,” Alec said. 

“Tell me why you were angry. Or don’t, it’s up to you. Whatever it takes to make you feel better, Alexander."

“I.. I saw your pictures with Ragnor. And I was… jealous, I guess. And angry at myself, and my parents, and… I don’t know. I just didn’t know what to do.”

“You really thought I was dating him? I’m sorry what you are going through, all I can say is that I am not dating him and that you really can stay as long as you need. I mean, usually I'd take you on a few dates before having you move in, but there's nothing wrong in taking a different route."

“I guess not. But… if it’s not too late, maybe we could go on a date now? If you still want to, I mean.” They had done everything upside down, first sleeping together, then living in the same house and now finally a date… Alec was surprised Magnus still wanted him, after all this. 

“I’d love that,” Magnus said,”I’d absolutely love that. But first… I’d love it if you let me kiss you,” he said, shuffling closer to Alec. “What do you say?”

Alec bit his lip, his heart suddenly beating much faster in his chest. 

"Consider this as a promise, that the future will get better, and easier. I'll be here for you," Magnus murmured before closing the gap between them, not giving Alec time to even think of an answer. 

It was just like he remembered it, better even. Magnus had such soft lips, so delicious, so good, Alec couldn’t think of anything else.

Magnus pulled back after a moment. He smiled softly and pecked Alec’s lips again. “I’m glad you’re here, Alexander. Even if the situation is unfortunate, I quite like the results of it,” he said. 

“At least now that I've hit rock bottom... the only way to continue is up," Alec mumbled. "Thank you so much, for being here."

“I’m happy for you, Alexander. And now you’ll finally have the chance to grow, become your own man outside of your parents.”

"Yeah. I... I guess that's a good thing."

“And I’ll be here to support you through all of it,” Magnus said. “Now… how about we get some sleep? You can sleep in my bed with me if you want,” he said. 

“That sounds... really nice," Alec murmured. Magnus stood up and held out his hand, which Alec gladly took, and they walked together to the bedroom. 

“You have all your things the guest room, don’t you?” Magnus asked after a moment, before pecking Alec’s lips with a chuckle. “I’m gonna get ready for bed. How about you get your stuff and bring it here?” he suggested. 

Alec nodded and set off to the spare room immediately, where he grabbed his suitcase and hurried back to Magnus’s room. Magnus was just coming out of the bathroom as he got back. “Feel free to take your time, I’ll be in bed when you get out,” he said as he started undressing. Alec had seen it all before, had drawn it so many times it was fixed in his head for ever now… but he still couldn’t help but stare. Until he remembered he was supposed to be doing something, and he shook himself out of it. He grabbed his toothbrush and went to the bathroom to get ready.

Alec came out a few minutes later, suddenly feeling nervous again as he saw Magnus on the bed, shirtless. He wasn’t looking at Alec, he was scrolling through something on his phone, and he looked so beautiful, Alec stood frozen in the doorway, just watching him.

Magnus must have noticed him after a moment, because he looked up from his phone and looked at Alec with a raised eyebrow. “Are you just gonna stand there or are you actually coming to cuddle me any time soon?” 

Alec cleared his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m coming. I’m coming,” he said, shaking himself out of it and stepping into bed. 

“Will you always stop and stare at me when you see me shirtless?”Magnus asked, with a smile in his voice. “Because honestly, I love it. It would feel amazing to always get that reaction from you”

“I’m just… You’re very beautiful,” Alec said, blushing brightly. 

“Thank you, darling. You are too, you know. Now get rid of that hideous shirt so I can look at you,” Magnus said, rolling in on top of Alec to start unbuttoning his shirt. 

Alec chuckled and let Magnus take off his shirt. “So… are we going to do more than just cuddle?” he grinned.

“That depends entirely on you, darling. Do you want to do more than just cuddle?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Alec licked his lips. Magnus was so close, he could feel his breath against his skin… “I do,” he said, voice suddenly rough. “I want you.”

“I want you, too,” Magnus hummed.

“Then take me,” Alec said. “I’m ready for you.” Alec didn’t let Magnus reply before he kissed him deeply. 

* * *

Their date was a week later. They were going to a restaurant, one of Magus's favourites. Before this date, Alec had a small breakdown over what to wear. He didn’t have anything perfect or even nice to wear. Alec hadn’t even considered to bring any nice clothes from home, he’d just brought the clothes he needed, some simple shirts and jeans. Magnus would probably show up with all his fancy clothes looking gorgeous and Alec would be there in old jeans and boring sweaters. He couldn’t do that.

Alec's first thought was to borrow some clothes for Magnus, but he discarded that immediately. They were too eccentric for him, and probably wouldn't fit anyway. But maybe Ragnor had some… if Alec had the guts to ask him. That way Magnus wouldn’t know what he was wearing, and Alec wanted to surprise him.

Ragnor was more than happy to help, after Alec had managed to stutter out what he needed through his embarrassment. He helped Alec find a nice, dark blue shirt, still fitting with Alec’s style but much nicer than anything Alec had, and helped him pick out a nice pair of pants and a good looking jacket.

It was much better than anything Alec could ever have gotten for himself, and he thanked Ragnor countless of times for his help before he had to leave for his date. They decided to meet at the restaurant, even if they lived together. And Alec was glad they had, it made it feel more normal, like they hadn’t done everything in the wrong order. 

When Alec arrived there Magnus was already waiting for him. He stood outside and for a moment Alec forgot how to breath. Magnus looked stunning, in his tight black leather pants, a dark red shirt, which was almost all the way open. His chest was still covered though, by necklaces and chains. Alec couldn’t tear his eyes away, especially not as Magnus grinned and stepped closer. “I love that reaction, Alexander. But I’m hungry and our table is waiting so how about we spare it for later, hm?”

Alec nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sorry,” he said.

“Oh, don’t apologize. It’s adorable,” Magnus said, pecking Alec’s lips. “Come on, let’s get inside,” he said. “And you look amazing,too. Just so you know, my dear.” 

“Thank you. I wasn’t sure what to wear… Ragnor helped me out,” he confessed. 

“Yeah , I thought so. That shirt is familiar” he chuckled. “But to be honest, it suits you even better than him.”

“Don’t tell him that,” Alec said with a blush. “Come on, let’s get inside.”

Magnus nodded and they went inside. They were led to their table where Alec pulled a chair back for Magnus before he sat down himself. "So, Alexander, what do you feel like having?" Magnus asked.

“Whatever you want,” Alec said, shrugging. “It’s really not important to me,” he said. 

“Well then let me treat you. Everything is on me, by the way, so don't worry about that.

“You don’t have to, you know? I have this job and the past three days were pretty good,actually. So I can pay for my share.” 

“I know you can, but you don’t have to. Also you need that money for some nice clothes of your own, Rags won’t be there for much longer so you can’t borrow his clothes forever,” Magnus pointed out.

“Okay, fine. I'll let you pay but next time, when we go somewhere a bit cheaper, it’s my turn," Alec said. “I can’t just let you pay every time, I am allowed to live with you for free so I need to pay for something…."

The discussion ended as a waiter came to their table and Magnus ordered for them both, something Alec was actually thankful for because he had no idea what to get here, everything sounded delicious. And when their food got to the table, Alec realized it was just as perfect as it sounded. The evening was spent eating, chatting, and Alec felt good. For a few hours, he managed to forget his parents, his worry, and he just enjoyed his time with Magnus.

“Thank you for this Magnus, it was perfect," Alec said as they walked out of the restaurant.

“I’m glad we finally got around to it,” Magnus said. “Even if it took some time. I really enjoy your company, you know.”

“Yeah. I do too. I’m sorry I… I made it so hard, from the beginning. Thank you for not giving up on me,” he said. 

“I would never give up on you, Alexander. Now come on, let’s go home.” Magnus took Alec’s hand and held him close, their shoulders touching as they made their way home, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered making an epilouge to this, like a few years later kind of thing. I never got around to writing it but I still might, let me know if you'd be interested down in the comments! And thanks a lot for reading the whole thing, I hope you liked it!


End file.
